I have so many questions about baptism.
When will I be ready to become baptized? What does life after baptism look like? What kind of relationship do I need to have with Jesus? Recently, in Bible class, I had the chance to hear a 75 second answer to the whole baptism mystery. Life after baptism is often portrayed as this spritually complete and perfect journey. But... how can that be true? How can that be true if Jesus Himself was tempted by Satan in the desert right after He was baptized? Short answer: it's not true. Longer answer/explanation: Satan attacks when people are at their most confident. Well that's just great. So then what is baptism for? If it's not Satan-repellant, then what is it? The pastor that answered this question today put it this way: baptism is an anchor, not just a mountain-high experience. It anchors people into the love and grace of Jesus Christ, so that they may be able to handle anything or anyone that tries to knock them down. This can be compared to romantic love. There's the passion that comes early on in the relationship. The butterflies, the flushed cheeks, the electricity at every nerve ending. But that goes away eventually. I've heard love described as a commitment rather than a feeling. I think that people get in trouble when they consider love as just a fun and exciting feeling rather than a lifelong commitment, through the good times and the bad. It's kind of the same with spirituality. There are times when I feel God with every piece of my soul, and it feels like I am on a mountaintop, infused with an incredible, blazing fire. But that goes away sometimes. I don't feel like I'm on a spiritual high when life sucks or when I'm messing up. But a relationship with Christ is a commitment, not a feeling. It is calling out to Him when I feel nothing but shame and anger. It is relying on Him when I have lost all control. If I am anchored in Jesus, if I choose to give my life completely to Him, that does not mean that I will be fueled by a feeling for the rest of my life. It means that I choose to be anchored in His forgiveness and strength even when I feel absolutely nothing. Though the life of a Christian is not supposed to be difficult, trials and temptations WILL COME. Living with God means that He will provide a way for His people to make it through the hard stuff and come out even stronger. Isaiah 40:31 says, "...but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." The fact is, people's strength needs constant renewing. It needs to be renewed not just at the time of baptism, but many, many times afterwards. He will make in us a new heart if we choose to accept Him. And if we anchor our lives in Him, He promises to pick us up and give us courage when we fall off the mountaintop.
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For a while, I kind of had this hope that all of a sudden, I would become a great Christian and a "fire for God" was going to hit me from the heavens.
Turns out that's not really how it works... In sixth grade, my teacher gave our class the classic "new years" assignment. We were to write down our resolutions! There were three resolution categories, and they were titled "something personal," "something academic," and "something spiritual." It somehow turned out that my classmates and I had more or less identical spiritual goals: read the Bible more often, pray more... and that's about it. I'm not sure how my classmates fared with these resolutions, but I mostly forgot about them. And for a long time I felt like I wanted to get stronger spiritually, but I never put in the time for it. I think many Christians "set" goals like this (and not just at new years time), and tell themselves that they will get closer to God at some point. I constantly tell myself that I will start over and be better, but these good intentions are rarely followed through, just like a harmless but pointless new years resolution. The thing about the "spiritual self" that many people don't understand is that it is very similar to the "physical self." Allow me to explain: most of us can't go for very long without food and water. If you're anything like me, you prefer having some type of food about every three hours in order to function properly. Taking care of the body is so important because it has a direct effect on health, mood, and overall productivity. The spiritual self is no different, but instead of requiring actual food and drink, it requires the bread of life that is the word of God. The way I understand it, this means two things. Accepting the gift of salvation that Christ gave everyone when He shed His blood on the cross is the most important first step. Then, it is crucial to understand that, "Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God" (Matthew 4:4). This is the second step to sustaining the spiritual self. I don't expect my physical self to somehow magically survive without food, so why should I expect my spiritual self to be any different? If I am hungry, food is not going to come find me and place itself nicely before me. Likewise, if I am in a spiritual wasteland, a divine motivation from above isn't going to hit me and all of a sudden turn me into an earnest Christian. That fire for God starts to flare up as I intentionally make steps to seek my Savior. In John 15:7, Jesus says "If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you." Asking Christ for guidance is half the battle. And if I make time for Him to speak in my life (cracking open the word of God, spending moments in silence and prayer, going to a church service), I will feel a fire start to flare throughout the process. It may be only a small spark at first, but that's usually how a fire begins. Thing is, that fire won't start unless I'm willing to light some matches. She’d soon learn to dress like them. She’d begin to walk and talk like them. Her long, thick braid would not suffice, so she traded it in for straightened and styled hair. Her little Velcro shoes were not ever going to be acceptable, so she bought knee high boots. She’d look into her mother’s eyes, pleading for new clothes because her severe lack of normalness required immediate assistance. She tried and tried relentlessly to reach acceptance, yet she only ended up losing herself in the process.
*** Creativity is an art that cannot be taught. There is no one formula to guide the mind to it, nor can it be replicated in the same way twice. It is elusive, impossible to pin down… but maybe that’s the beauty of it. No right or wrong, no good or bad. Silly to even attempt to squeeze into a blunt definition. One cannot define the way that the soul pours out its thoughts, dreams, and wildest ideas. Why must we try to tame the courage and passion that lies in human creativity? Why must we ignorantly expect everyone to convey creativity identically? What a lacking and empty place the world would be. Nothing new to bask in, no inspiration to draw from. Too often we waste our time longing to be as “artistic” or “talented” as we perceive our peers to be, and as we drown in these hopes, we become BLIND to the beauty of our own imaginations! Such a shame that we cannot learn to embrace our madness. God didn’t make any two people the same, yet we continue to waste our efforts pining to measure up to someone else’s greatness. In doing so, we mercilessly abandon our own. But He did not give us a timid spirit. He did not place in us the fear of being different. Rather… He calls us to it. He gave us courageous hearts and brilliant minds. Creativity is the art of being an individual. What use is a human being that strives for nothing and doubts his ability to create anything? It is not in our nature to conform, but we have been convinced by this world that what we have to offer will never be good enough. They used to encourage us in grade school to be ourselves because if we would just be ourselves then everything would be perfect and fine and all will work out and everyone will love you. They drilled the words into our heads, but when we tried to speak, they’d clamp our mouths shut. Now what do you see when you look around? Clones. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. We are creatures of rebellion and ruthlessness and dreams. The moment has come for us to stop building walls to enclose us from all that we fear. It’s time we start our engines and ignite our rockets. It’s time we make the thing happen instead of waiting for someone more “capable” to make it happen. It’s time we stop squandering our potential, and start letting it impact the world. I am thoroughly convinced that having conversations with other people is one of the best ways to learn and grow. A recent event that strengthened this belief of mine occurred about a week ago at a friends house after church. This was on a Friday night, right after our typical youth service, during which we talked about baptism. This initial conversation during church sparked opinions on being born again and what it truly means to live for Christ. When I was at my friends house, along with a small group of people, we quickly got into another conversation about the same notion of "being born again." This sort of happened by accident, when I shared a quote that says, "Being a Christian is about constant progression, not perfection." After I had said this, one of the guys at the table (because all good conversations should happen over food!) said something that I found to be very interesting. He countered my quote with a verse said by Jesus: "Be perfect, therefore, as your Heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:48). And so the discussion began.
Initially, I was taken aback by this response, because I had never really considered the idea of being "perfect." I was certain that there was no possible way for a human being to be perfect, and I was partially right (key word, partially). The verse from Romans 3:23 immediately came to my mind, where it says, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." I considered this verse and momentarily concluded that it is impossible to live a sinful life, but then I went back to the verse that this guy had mentioned. Clearly Jesus was and is not a liar, and He would not call us to be perfect if it was impossible. So then the question remains... how do we live a life free of sin? As the dialogue at the table progressed, the opinions in the room increased. The belief about human nature not being capable of living blamelessly still wavered, but then we returned to our topic of rebirth in Christ. We started to talk about how if a sinful person (and that includes all of us) comes to know Christ and believe that He is the Savior, Jesus will give that person a new heart (Ezekiel 36:26). Not only does Christ give us a new heart, He also gives us the strength to live without sin. That's what being born again is all about. Humans by themselves only really think about what they like and what makes them feel good, but when Jesus comes into the picture, He changes the life of a once sinner and creates in this person a whole new spirit. Without the help of a supernatural being, we are completely unable to stay on the right path, but when we choose that we want to live freely without being enslaved to sin, Jesus gives us the power to live without constantly being tied to wrongdoing. Yes, stumbling and falling is inevitable, but when we're given a perfect heart from a perfect Savior, how can we go back to the same sin, the same mud, that we slipped into before? No, God will help us not to go back to that place. The talk that I had with this group of people made me realize that our Redeemer can guide and help us in so much more ways than we often realize. And how incredible is that? The fact that we have someone who loves us to the point that He gave his life up so that we may be born again. I was living, but I wasn't alive. The days crawled by, one by one, but nothing changed. It felt as though I was reliving the same day, experiencing the same emotions, lost in the same thoughts. My schedule primarily consisted of school, home, weekly piano and choir practices, and church. Even though I participated in what seemed like many activities, I wasn't completely committed to anything. School was just a matter of going through the motions, getting things done on time. At home I'd shut myself away in my room with some headphones on. I was starting to slack a bit in my music classes, and church... well, I became so used to it that it wasn't much more than just a weekly routine. It all became a blur after a while. It constantly felt like something was missing, like something wasn't quite right. I started to pay more attention to the people around me and began to get the notion that everyone else seemed to be very content with their lives. I wondered what their secret was and how they had reached a consistent state of happiness. After a while though, I realized that I wasn't the only one struggling to get meaning back into my life. It wasn't just me with an aching vacancy in my heart.
I felt that there was constantly something missing, but I didn't understand what it was. I tried to get rid of this feeling by renting out the empty space in my heart to various things. The problem was, these things didn't keep me satisfied for very long. It took time for me to see that there was a permanent resident whom I needed to occupy this space for it to be whole. The more I continued to pay attention to the outside world, the more I saw that people were not ever able to be fully satisfied. The more they got, the more they desired. They would take the things that they had for granted; they would fill their hearts and lives with meaningless things that only brought them temporary happiness. I was one of these people. Yes, I knew that there were many empty spaces in my life, but I was not very successful at filling them. Throughout my "pursuit of happiness," I would long for acceptance from other people, thinking that this alone would give me a sense of fulfillment. It took me some time to realize that striving for approval wasn't going to do anything for me. I tried and tried to fill this hole, but the more I tried, the deeper I collapsed into confusion and disapoinment. It took countless wasted efforts for me to eventually realize that what I was doing, the character that I was playing, wasn't me at all. One Monday evening, I found myself at church working on a song with a group of friends. We were almost finished with it; the verses were nailed, and all that was left was to sing the entire thing all the way through. So the music started, we all took our places on the stage, and began to sing. As we sang, I began to feel this strange pang in my chest. The words coming out of my mouth, the lyrics proclaiming Christ's love as He shed his blood on a cross, struck me harder than they ever had before. I remember standing there thinking, "What was this feeling?" "Where did it come from?" All these emotions started to flood my body at once, and I could feel my eyes begin to water slightly. It was in that moment that I understood... that pang I felt, that feeling of completeness," was the vacancy in my heart slowly filling. That hole I constantly walked around with wasn't shaped for anything else but God. Nothing had ever fit there before, and now it made sense why. That vacancy was for Christ. It was time to wake up. He knew that perfectly well, yet he maintained his very comfortable position among all the blankets and pillows on his bed. He finally came to the realization that if he didn't get up within the next 30 seconds, he'd end up quite incredibly late to his daily sentence at the academic prison he referred to as his high school. And so the day begins. There was showering and teeth brushing and breakfasting; all the great and exciting things typically associated with mornings. But he'd almost forgotten one thing... he'd almost left his masks behind. He ran into his room so that he could quickly pack up his mask collection into his backpack before rushing back out the door. There... now he was ready to face the day.
You see, he'd been collecting his masks for a really long time now. He made a ton of new ones every year. There was usually one for each person he came into contact with, one for each occasion he attended. Some masks were more extravagant than others, but they all allowed him to survive his daily life without experiencing any uncomfortable situations with other people. Almost each person he encountered got to see a special mask. A mask made just for them. A mask that they would like. A mask that they would accept. He went about his day during school, quickly pulling a new mask out of his backpack every time he started talking to a different person. It was hard and tiring sometimes, to keep switching so quickly, but he had gotten more or less used to it over the years. When he came home, he put all his masks back in a little cabinet where they would stay until tomorrow. At this point, he couldn't live without them. No one had seen him without a mask on for a very long time, and he was afraid that they would get scared and run away or laugh at him. He remembered the years before the masks and how hard they were. He was ignored and made fun of by the rest of the kids; they'd leave him all alone. It was a good thing that he covered up now. Now no one laughed anymore. Years went by, and not a day passed that he'd forget his masks. One day, as he sat in a coffee shop with his best friend, she leaned over and began tugging at his mask. He became so terrified and quickly pushed her hand away, thinking of the horrors that would ensue if she pulled it off. She looked down at her hand, then back up at him. Her eyes became sad, and she began to speak carefully and slowly... "When will you stop hiding? When will you start to live?" *** Too often people are made to feel as though they are obligated to create out of themselves a character that is custom designed to fit the preferences of the outside world. It's become a common habit to switch out one's passions in order to gain acceptance from a far from worthy crowd. Changing and rearranging yourself ultimately results in abandoning all self respect and losing all sense of self worth. It's a message we hear and repeat often; "Love yourself." But really... you were made as you are for a reason and a purpose. Even if you have a hard time believing in the existence of a Creator, I want to tell you that you were created as a beautiful and intricate individual that deserves a chance to let your real self out of the hiding place you've built. In Psalm 139: 13,14, David, a man who knew and loved God with all his heart, says "For you [God] created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Nothing about you is an accident. God knew you before you were born; He knew your bad habits and your incredible talents before you discovered them yourself. There's absolutely nothing you can hide from Him, and yet He still loves you for all that you are. So go out, get growing, and get living. Stop the facades. Go out. Get growing. Get living. |
The Mission?Spreading the word of God, one story at a time. "Come now, let's settle this," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them white as snow." |